| Excerpts
from The Way of Agape continued...
Recognize Self-Centered Thoughts
- We must recognize, acknowledge and experience
the negative thoughts, emotions, and desires (self life)
that have just occurred. We must not vent these feelings
nor stuff them, but learn to give them to God. We need to
ask God to "expose" what is really going on inside
of us (i.e. bring to light the real truth).
[Note: This is what the priests did at the Lavers of Bronze.
The Lavers themselves were made of women's "looking glasses"
(mirrors of polished metal). As the priests bent over to
the lavers to wash their hands, they would see "their own
reflection," their own true selves in the mirrored Lavers.]
I believe what the priests did is symbolic of exactly what
the Lord requires us to do. We are to ask God not only to
bring to light what's going on in our own conscious thoughts,
emotions, and desires, but we are also to ask Him to shed
light on all those things in our hidden chambers. In other
words, we want the real root causes of our negative
thoughts and emotions to be exposed. Why are we reacting
so violently over what has just happened? What's really
going on? [Keep in mind the conscious, surface emotions
are really just the symptoms. The real root causes are often
hidden. If the root cause can be exposed and gotten rid
of, then the surface emotions will not occur again.]
Get Alone With God
It is important at this point, if we can, to get alone with
the Lord so we can go through these steps and deal with
our sin properly. Try not to put this off. The times I have
put off going through these steps, it seems I contaminate
everyone I come in contact with. As Isaiah 3:24 tells us,
"Instead of [a] sweet smell there shall be [a] stink."
I stop now, whenever I find myself hurt, angry, resentful,
critical, self-centered, prideful, ungrateful, anxious,
afraid, confused, bitter, judgmental, or filled with any
negative emotion, and I try to get alone with God and go
through these steps. Jesus is the only One who can expose
and cleanse our sin--and totally heal us from the inside
out.
It's so critical to be "cleansed" in order to respond to
the way God would have us. Don't ever "confront" someone
or "take a stand" with someone, unless you are a clean vessel!
If you're not clean, it will be self life out there and
not God's Life at all. And you will sink even further into
the pit than you were before.
Even if you can only go through these steps "mentally" at
the time, I do it. By "mentally," I mean that, because I
am busy, I'm not able, at that moment to pull away from
the situation to be alone with God and let my feelings out.
I can only go through these steps in my mind. Even if that's
all I can do, I do it. It's critical not to let the sin
accumulate.
Acknowledge Real Thoughts and Emotions
We are to be aware of and acknowledge the sinful feelings
that are coming up. We need to recognize the fears, the
insecurities and the doubts that we are experiencing. We
need to call them for what they are, and "name" what we
are really thinking and feeling. It's important to be truthful
and acknowledge these things. God knows it all anyway.
David was called a "man after God's own heart," and yet
we read how he expressed his real thoughts and feelings
to God in Psalm 55:15, Psalm 109:5-20 and other places.
Remember, we must recognize our ungodly thoughts and
emotions before we can hand them over to God. We can't
give something to God if we don't know what it is. This
is why we should try to describe what we are feeling: "I
am angry; I am resentful; I feel betrayed; I am fearful."
We can cry, scream, or yell if we want to. Remember, we
are only doing this "alone with God."
I believe it's important to experience our real thoughts
and feelings. This will not only help us in understanding
what we are really feeling, but it will also help us recognize
exactly what to give to God. This is the point in God's
plan where we can let our "self life" totally hang out.
This is part of "dealing with our sin" and part of the healing
process. Oftentimes, I will go through these steps and forget
(either because of time or pressures or lack of opportunity)
to really let my feelings out. After a day or so, I wonder
why my peace has not returned. More often than not, it's
because I have forgotten to really "experience my negative
feelings." They are still bottled up within me. Therefore,
I have to go back and once again go through these steps.
Acknowledging how I feel, I believe, is part of the restoration
process.
We Must "See" Our Sin
God must "expose" our negative, ungodly thoughts and emotions
before we are able to hand them over to Him. We
can't give things over to God if we don't know what they
are! Scripture never says we won't have negative, bad,
and self-centered thoughts, emotions and desires. The Bible
does say, however, that we can have victory over the "desires
of the flesh," if we constantly make faith choices to give
these negative things over to God--not allowing them to
motivate our actions.
Galatians 5:16 says, if we choose to "walk in the Spirit,"
then we won't carry out the desires of the flesh.
It's important to understand that we can't "hold on" to
negative thoughts and feelings without eventually acting
out of them. Even if we try to keep them buried, they still
become the "motivation" for all our actions, whether we
are aware of it or not. Burying our hurts, memories, fears,
and so on, does not get rid of them. The only thing that
gets rid of them, is allowing God to expose them and then
our giving them over to Him.
In order to be truly free of our past and be able to
act out of God's Love, we must get rid of our ungodly thoughts
and feelings the proper way: by allowing God to expose them,
by looking squarely at them and calling them what they are,
and then by choosing to give these things back over to God
and be rid of them forever. (Psalm 103:12)
Confess and Repent
- Along with step #5 (recognizing and experiencing our feelings),
we must now confess and repent of all that the Holy Spirit
has shown us. In addition we must , by faith, unconditionally
forgive anyone who has wronged us, just as God has unconditionally
forgiven us. (Lavers of Bronze)
[Note: If we have caught the negative, ungodly thought and
we have not entertained it or mulled it over, then we can
skip this step of confession and repentance because there
is no sin or disobedience involved. We can just unconditionally
forgive the other person involved and go on to then next
step. If however, we know we have held on to these unrighteous
thoughts and feelings for awhile and mulled them over or
entertained them, then we need to confess them as sin. They
have already separated us from God and we need to repent
of them (change our mind about holding onto them), and choose
to go God's Way.]
This step of confession and repentance is our responsibility.
As 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, [then]
He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins."
(emphasis added)
It's critical to acknowledge that what we have done has
quenched God's Spirit in us. So we need to confess "ownership"
of our negative thoughts and emotions and then simply choose
to "turn around" from following them.
Example: "I Confess I Am Depressed"
For example, if we are depressed (I am assuming that the
depression is emotional and mental, and not physiologically
caused), and we have been following this emotional way of
thinking for some time, we can't just say to the Lord, "Help
me with my depression," and expect Him to take our sad and
brooding thoughts away.
We must say, "Father, I confess I am depressed (I
"own" these emotions). I confess I have chosen to entertain
and follow these morose feelings over what You would have
me do (i.e., give them to You), and it has quenched Your
Spirit in me. That's sin. I now choose to turn around (I
repent) from following what these things are telling
me to do and choose instead to follow You."
Remember, we are not responsible to change our own feelings.
We can't do that. We are only responsible to put in charge
the Person who can change our feelings, and that
Person is God. And we do that by confessing we "own" the
feelings and then repenting of them. God, then, is free
to begin to change our feelings and align them with our
faith choice.
Forgive Others
In this sixth step, we are not only to confess and repent
of our own sins, but we are also unconditionally to forgive
others of theirs. God is hindered (we've quenched His
Spirit) from working on us and also the other party until
we have released them. And we release them by unconditionally
forgiving them, whether they ask for it or not! So, we choose
to forgive because we are commanded to by Jesus (because
He has forgiven us). "And when ye stand praying, forgive,
if ye have anything against any, that your Father also,
who is in heaven, may forgive you your trespasses. But if
ye do not forgive, neither will your Father, who is in heaven,
forgive your trespasses." (Mark 11:25-26)
Sometimes, it's difficult to forgive others in our own strength.
This is just another place that we can give God our own
hurt feelings and trust Him for His unconditional
Love. In other words, if we love Him, He will enable us,
strengthen us, and give us the grace to forgive others.
2 Corinthians 2:10 tells us the way we can unconditionally
forgive them is "in the person of Jesus Christ."
If we are at fault in a situation, sometimes (but not always)
God will have us go back and ask for forgiveness from the
other person involved. If we have offended them, God will
often require us to go and reconcile with them. Remember,
however, each situation is different. Sometimes we can just
seek God's forgiveness in our minds and that will be enough.
In each instance, we must pray and seek God's Will as to
what He would specifically have us do. God is so wonderful.
He will not only tell us what to do, but He will also give
us the strength to be able to do it.
Give All to God
- Once God has shown us not only our conscious negative
thoughts and emotions but also their root causes, and we
have confessed them as sin and repented of them, then it's
imperative that we give all these things over to God.
God will not violate our free will by forcibly taking these
things from us; we must willingly choose to give these things
or cast these things to Him. (This is symbolic of the priests
"sacrificing" their offerings for sin on the Holocaust Altar.)
In like manner, God wants us to give Him--to sacrifice to
Him--not only all of our conscious negative thoughts and
emotions, but also their subconscious root causes in those
hidden chambers. In other words, He wants to purge all our
sins by His Blood. As we give these things over to Him,
He then is able to purge them from us, "as far as the east
is from the west." (Psalm 103:12)
A Miracle
So often we take for granted the miracle that God really
does take our sins away "as far as the east is from the
west," when we confess and repent of them. Do we realize
what this really means? It means that we are allowed to
begin each day with a clean slate--a fresh start. Chuck
and I were talking last night [about] what an incredible
gift this is. It allows us to "blow it badly" with each
other; and yet, if we confess and repent of those things
and forgive each other, God does totally cleanse
us--even with the memory of that sin wiped away. What a
miracle this is!
As Christians we take this so for granted. Just think of
it. If you were a nonbeliever, all your fights with loved
ones, all your guilt, your failures, mistakes, ungodliness,
errors, wrong, immorality, and every sin you commit would
always be with you. You would bury them in the "hidden chambers"
but they would always be there to motivate your actions.
You would never get away from them or have a fresh, new
start. No wonder so many relationships "without Christ"
are doomed to failure.
Recognize the Battles
Some of the things that will come up, however, are longstanding
strongholds of the enemy. These often become spiritual battles
in order to get rid of. So, if certain things seem to stick
around for awhile, don't give up and say, "Oh, this just
doesn't work for me!" That's exactly what the enemy wants
you to do. Recognize it's a battle. Know you will win if
you will just persevere. God is already the Victor. Luke
10:19 says that we have authority over all the power of
the enemy. Recognize, however, that it might take some time
before you can "see" that victory.
[Please review Chapter 13, "Strongholds of the Enemy" about
the critical importance of our thoughts.]
Read God's Word
- After we have given over to God our negative thoughts,
emotions, and desires, the last step in dealing with our
sins is that we must read God's Word. We must replace
the lies with the truth. God is the only One who, by His
Word, can cleanse, sanctify and heal our souls completely.
[Remember, it was at the Molten Sea that the priests actually
immersed themselves bodily, in order to receive total cleansing.
They had gotten all "blood splattered" at the Holocaust
altar and now needed a complete bathing.]
Reading God's Word after sacrificing is a very critical
step. After we have confessed, repented, and given all to
God, we are still "bloody" and in desperate need of God's
complete healing power. It's only God's Word that can totally
restore us. God is the One who washes us "with the washing
of water by the Word" (Ephesians 5:26). It's at this point,
as I read God's Word, that I literally picture myself being
bathed in God's Love. One of my favorite Scriptures to read
at this moment is Psalm 18: "In my distress I called upon
the Lord…He heard my voice out of His temple…He
bowed the heavens, and came down…(verses 6 and 9)
Another suggestion: Try to memorize appropriate Scriptures.
Often, we must go through these steps when we are away from
home and don't have our Bible at hand. If we have memorized
Scriptures, then we can bathe in His Word anyway. Most importantly,
remember, "truth" must be put back in where the lies
have been removed, so that more lies don't return. Be
sure to read Luke 11:24-26.
Now step out in faith, knowing that God will be faithful
to perform His Will through you and to align your feelings
with your choices.
Praise Him
A very important thing to do after we have finished
the Inner Court Ritual is to fill our thoughts and minds
with praise. (Again this is what the priests did after they
finished in the Outer Court. They returned to the Holy Place
where they changed their clothes and began to sing and praise
God.)
We too, after we have read God's Word, can change our clothes.
We have "put off" the old and "put on" the new, and now
we can worship the Lord. We can praise Him for who He is
(that He has everything under control) and that He "will
work all things together" for our best, since we do love
(agapao) Him. See Romans 8:28.
This Scripture (Ro. 8:28), by the way, doesn't speak to
those who storge or phileo God, but only to those who agapao
Him. To those who totally give themselves over to Him. God
can then maneuver the circumstances according to His perfect
Will.
Example: Putting it All Together
Here, then, is a hypothetical story which shows all these
steps in action:
Your mother-in-law (who is not a Christian) comes over for
dinner. You are sitting across from her at the table when
all of a sudden, in front of everyone, she makes some very
derogatory comments about your dinner, your house, your
kids and so on.
At first you get flustered, then humiliated, then hurt,
and then just plain angry. At this point what would you
do? Do you continue to sit there and hypocritically smile
at her when you would really like to sock her and tell her
off?
Remember, we are not responsible for the original ungodly
thoughts when they first come in; it's what we choose to
do with them that produces the sin or not. And as we mentioned
before, if you don't do anything with those negative thoughts,
they will automatically stir up your bitterness and resentment,
which will definitely affect your choices, and eventually,
all your actions toward her.
If I were in this sensitive situation, I'd deal with my
angry thoughts right then. I'd excuse myself from the table
and I would go to wherever I could be alone with the Lord
(my bedroom, the bathroom, my car, wherever). I'd want to
catch those hurts and negative thoughts before they are
programmed in and before I act out of them!
- The first step then, is to recognize and acknowledge
the negative (unloving) thoughts and feelings I am
experiencing, so I can deal with them. I can't deal with
them unless I know what they are.
In the "prayer closet" (wherever that might be), I'd tell
God that my mother-in-law's remark really hurt. "It is
humiliating and embarrassing every time she puts me down
in front of everyone else." I'd go on and express and
name all my genuine feelings about her. I'd even cry if
I needed to. In other words, I would experience my
real emotions.
At the same time, I would also ask God if there are any
"root causes" for why I'm reacting this way. Perhaps my
mother-in-law has done this same thing numerous times
over the years, but I have never really dealt with it
before. Perhaps before, I simply buried my feelings. I'd
ask God to expose everything He wants to (from my hidden
chambers) regarding this situation.
If God shows me that I have felt this way for years over
my mother-in-law's insults (but I have never properly
dealt with these things before), then I would obviously
need to confess that I "owned" these unrighteous
thoughts and feelings.
- Even though I was aware that I could give my hurts to
God, I still chose to follow my "own" ways over God's
ways. Therefore, it has quenched His Spirit in me, and
it has become sin. At this point, then I would need to
"change my mind," turn around, and repent from
following these bad thoughts and emotions even if they
might be "justified" by the world's standards.
Also at this point, I would need to unconditionally
forgive my mother-in-law so that God could be released
to work in her life as well as my own.
- I would then give all the hurts (bitterness,
resentment, anger, "justified or not" and anything else
that God has shown me) over to God and ask Him to purge
these things from me. [Computer people, hit the "delete"
button on these things.]
- Finally, I would get into His Word and read a few of
my favorite passages, so that His soothing truth could
go back into the hidden chambers where the lies have been.
Then I would praise Him for being my God and for doing
all these things for me.
Hebrews 10:22 says, "Let us draw near with a true
heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled
from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure
water."
This is how the Inner Court Ritual works.
It might seem like a lot to remember now because it's all
so new. But, I promise you, if you are faithful to continue
to confess, repent, and give all (anything that is not of
faith) to God these steps will become first nature to you.
Because as you will soon see there really is no other choice!
[A couple of gals suggested we make a "word game" out of
the four steps. One girl named them 1) See it; 2) Say it;
3) Send it; and, 4) Supplant it. Another woman called them
1) Recognize it; 2) Repent of it; 3) Rocket it up; and,
4) Replace it. If it helps; use them.]
[This text has been slightly downsized and taken from Chuck
and Nancy Missler's book The Way of Agape, chapter
14, pages 241-260.]
Chapter 14
My "Survival Kit"
John 12:24-25; 2 Corinthians 4:11.)
A. Attitudes
- "Present [our] bodies as a living sacrifice" (Romans 12:1;
Psalm 19:12-13.)
139:23-24; Job 13:15; 2 Corinthians 7:1; Timothy 2:21.)
a. Open ourselves up to God's inspection (Genesis 15:17)
b. Remember how much He loves us (Psalm 118:6; Job 13:15.)
- (Inside) Deny ourselves (our "justified" feelings,
own rights, frustrations, offenses, etc.) (Philippeans 3:8-15;
John 12:24; Colossians 3:5,8-10)
a. Be willing to lay everything down ( Luke 9:23;
Ephesians 4:31; Matthew 10:39; Acts 20:24; Hebrews 12:1.)
b. Don't have to "feel willing," just "be willing" (Luke
14:26-33; 2 Corinthians 8:11-12.)
c. All Christians are capable of laying things down, but
all are not willing to do so.
d. God will return hundredfold all we choose to lay down
(Luke 18:29-30; Mark 10:29-30; 1 Corinthians 2:9.)
- (Outside) Get up and do what God has asked (Philippeans
2:5-9; Ephesians 6:6; Psalm 40:8; Isaiah 1:19)
a. "Not my will, but Thine" (Matthew 26:39; Luke 5:5; 1
Peter 4:2.)
b. Again, we don't have to "feel willing" (2 Corinthians
8:11.)
- "Take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5-6.)
a. If we don't take them captive, they will take us captive
(James 1:14-15.)
b. Don't share negative things with others (Ephesians 4:29-32)
c. Think only on good things (Philippeans 4:8; Isaiah 43:18.)
B. Mandatory steps (Inner Court Ritual) (2 Corinthians
10:5-6; James 4:7; 1 Peter 5:8-9.)
- Recognize the negative thoughts and emotions as
they come in ) (2 Corinthians 10:5.)
a. Get alone with God
b. Acknowledge and experience negative feelings (2 Corinthians
13:5.)
c. Ask God to expose root causes from hidden chambers (Proverbs
20:27; Psalm 119:9-11; Job 12:22; 1 Corinthians 4:5; 2 Corinthians
13:5.)
Why are we "reacting" this way?
We must "see" our own sin, before we can give it over (Psalm
139:23-24)
- Confess them as sin and repent of them (Proverbs
1:23; 28:13; Isaiah 1:16; Ezekiel 18:30b; James 4:8-10;
1 John 1:9; Acts 8:22a; Colossians 3:13; John 20:23) (Lavers
of Bronze)
a. We also must unconditionally forgive anyone who has wronged
us (Matthew 6:14-15; 18:32-35; Colossians 3:13; 2 Corinthians
2:10-11; Luke 23:34; Mark 11:25-26; John 13:14; Ephesians
4:32.)
b. We must also know that God has forgiven us (1 John 1:9;
Matthew 6:14.)
- Give over to God all that He has exposed (even
the "justified" hurts and injustices) (Luke 11:39-40; Colossians
3:5,8; 1 Peter 5:7; Galatians 5:24; Romans 6:11-13; 2 Timothy
2:21;Ephesians 5:2; 1 John 1:7.) (Holocaust Altar)
- Get into the Word and reprogram the truth back into where
the lies have been (Luke 11:24-26; Ephesians 5:26; John
15:3; 17:17; James 1:21; 2 Peter 1:4; Psalm 19:7-8.) (Molten
Sea)
a. God will "heal" our souls (Psalm 18, 51:7; 107:20; 119:9;
Philippeans 3:13.)
b. God will restore us back to His Image (Hebrews 10:22)
Now walk by faith (1 Corinthians 2:5;
2 Corinthians 5:7) and know that God cleansed us and has
transformed us back into His Image (Hosea 2:19-20; Philippeans
1:21; Romans 8:1; Hebrews 8:12; 10:22; 1 Peter 1:22a.)
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