Excerpts From Chapter 1
Excerpts From Chapter 2
Excerpts From Chapter 5
Excerpts From Chapter 7
Excerpts From Chapter 8

2

GETTING TO KNOW YOUR FATHER

Come near to God and he will come near to you.
James 4:8

One night in 1968, the pilot of an airliner bound for New York realized that the landing gear of his jet would not engage. Traveling ever closer to his destination, he continued to work the controls, trying to get the wheels to lock into place, but he had no success. Circling over the airport, he asked the control tower for instructions. The ground crew, responding to the impending crisis, sprayed the runway with foam, and emergency vehicles moved into position. The pilot was instructed to land the plane as best he could.

The passengers were asked to prepare themselves for the worst and to put themselves into crash position. Moments before landing, the pilot announced over the intercom: "We are beginning our final descent. In accordance with International Aviation Codes established at Geneva, it is my obligation to inform you that if you believe in God, you should commence praying." The plane then performed a belly landing, and miraculously, came to a stop with no injury to the passengers.

If that pilot hadn't found himself in a crisis that day, his passengers would never have known about the airline's hidden provision for prayer. But isn't that the way it is for most people? As long as everything's going smoothly, they rarely think about talking to God. But as soon as a situation becomes life or death, they turn to Him for help.

That kind of thinking is almost to be expected among nonbelievers. Many of them have a "flat-tire mentality." As long as they're cruising down the highway of life and the car is handling the road well, then everything's great. But when there's a blowout, they turn to God.

WHY BELIEVERS DON'T PRAY

The remarkable thing is that many Christians spend as little time communicating with God as nonbelievers. Why is that? Have many lost their belief in the power of prayer? William A. Ward said, "God is never more than a prayer away from you...We address and stamp a letter and send it on its way, confident that it will reach its destination, but we doubtfully wonder if our prayer will be heard by an ever-present God."

I think the main reason people don't spend much time praying is that they have the wrong attitude toward prayer. Some people think of prayer as something only their grandmother does. Or they think of the simple prayers of their childhood: "God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. Amen," or "Now I lay me down to sleep...."

But even people who have a genuine desire to pray and have tried to develop a prayer life sometimes have the wrong idea about it. They think that in order to pray they have to go off by themselves, get on their knees, close their eyes, fold their hands, etc. They take with them a list of things to pray about, and then they go through the list methodically. None of those things is bad or wrong, but that kind of mechanical prayer life can become very tedious. For most people, after about five minutes they run out of things to say, become frustrated, and then feel guilty for not having a better prayer life. No wonder so many Christians are reluctant to pray. They've made prayer a formal, stiff, lifeless thing that it was never meant to be. Any time the mechanics of prayer get in the way of loving God, they're a hindrance, not a help.

TALKING TO A FRIEND

Prayer should be the most natural thing in the world, like speaking your mind with a friend you trust. C. Neil Strait said, "Prayer is...talking with God and telling him you love Him...conversing with God about all the things that are important in life, both large and small, and being assured that He is listening."

First and foremost, prayer is talking to your Father in heaven and getting to know Him. It's the process of developing a relationship. How do you develop and grow in your relationship with God? The same way you do with anyone else. You spend time together. Armand Nicholi of Harvard University Medical School said, "Time is like oxygen; there's the minimum amount that's necessary for survival. And it takes quantity, as well as quality, to develop warm and caring relationships."

IT'S A LITTLE LIKE A MARRIAGE

Think of your relationship with God as being similar to a marriage. The main difference is that God, unlike your spouse, is perfect. He loves you unconditionally, is absolutely trustworthy, and forgives you for anything and everything you do wrong--past, present, and future--if only you ask. The good news is that God has already done the hard work in the relationship. All we have to do is be willing to communicate with Him, and we can learn to do that.

Look at some of the married couples you know. You can see that in a good marriage the partners talk about everything. Their conversation is spontaneous, transparent, and open. They don't hold anything back, and they don't try to manipulate each other. But when communication becomes stiff, formal, or nonexistent, marriages deteriorate. Studies indicate that half of all divorces result from bad communication. [If you find yourself in this boat order pastor David T. Moore's "Love For A Lifetime", available online at: http://www.mooreonlife.com . It is $38.95, an 8 cassette series on marriage. If applied soon enough, this study can save your marriage.]

Marriage expert Gary Smalley has said that a healthy marriage relationship requires one hour of communication a day. This ensures the continual development and deepening of the relationship. And I try to spend that amount of time with my wife, Margaret, every day. How do you think she would feel if the only time I communicated with her was in an emergency?

The same is true with God. A deep relationship with Him takes time and effort. It cannot be formed in just a few fleeting mechanical moments. And it can't be built on an emergency basis either. E.M. Bounds once wrote, "God's acquaintance is not made hurriedly. He does not bestow His gifts on the casual or hasty comer and goer. To be much alone with God is the secret of knowing Him and of influence with Him."

If we can change our attitudes toward prayer--thinking of it as a process that builds our relationship with God--and cultivate a daily prayer time, we can become strong people of prayer. And the prayer life we develop has the potential to completely transform our lives.

Before we get into some of the specifics of how to pray, let me give you five guidelines that will help you have the right attitude toward prayer:

1. Be Spontaneous

Try to put out of your mind once and for all that prayer has to be tedious or repetitive. Instead it should be spontaneous and exciting. That doesn't mean that prayer time will always be happy and fun. There will be times when you hurt and cry to God for consolation, other times when you shout at Him in anger. But you will also laugh and have a good time. The main thing is for you to be yourself.

What does it mean to maintain a spontaneous spirit? Let's say, for example, that you pray in the morning when you get up. On a particular morning as you look at your prayer list, you may feel agitated and distracted. Rather than trying to fight with that agitation and suppress it, talk to God about it first. And if you can't figure out what's bothering you, ask God to reveal it to you. Clearing the air as you begin to pray may be just what you need to do in order to better communicate with God. Or it may be something that God wants you to spend all your time praying about on that particular day.

Willingness to share yourself with God is a matter of the heart and the attitude. We can close ourselves off, refusing to grow in our relationship, or we can be willing to tell God everything on our minds and hearts. [And I might add here, that a spouse that closes himself or herself off from their mate, refusing to grow in the relationship, being unwilling to share everything on their minds and hearts--it is these people that will eventually starve and kill their marriages. I know from personally experiencing this happening to me. It is the same with God. That is the vital point pastor Maxwell is making here. If you can kill a marriage relationship by doing this, you can also do it with your relationship with God. That's scary.]

Francois Fenelon expressed this idea well with the following words:

Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pains, to a dear friend. Tell Him your troubles, that He may comfort you; tell Him your joys, that He may sober them; tell Him you longings, that He may purify them; tell Him your dislikes, that He may help you to conquer them; talk to Him of your temptations, that He may shield you from them; show Him the wounds of your heart that He may heal them...Tell Him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself and others.

In other words, tell God everything--both good and bad--with an attitude of openness and spontaneity.

Spontaneity in prayer requires a willingness to abandon your own agenda and adopt God's. It means being flexible, looking for good opportunities no matter what comes your way. Some of the best times I've ever experienced in and out of prayer have come when I was willing to do something spontaneous in a situation that might otherwise have been boring or negative...

Spontaneity and creativity in prayer go hand in hand. Sometimes creativity helps in planning special prayer times, such as a day alone with God where you travel to a favorite place, like the outdoors or a hotel, to spend the day in prayer and praise. Other times creativity can help you with your day-to-day prayer arrangements. Fred Rowe is a prayer-partner and friend with a busy schedule. He is a psychiatrist and has a family with three small boys. He has used his creativity to make sure that he can have a prayer time every morning. He generally gets up at 4:30 in the morning and goes for a drive. His hour in the car is his quiet time. As he drives, he praises and prays, allowing God to dictate the agenda.

I've experienced a lot of blessings from God because of a willingness to be spontaneous. Probably the greatest have been my early morning prayer times. Since 1972, rarely has a week gone by when I haven't awakened at least once between two and three o'clock in the morning. Each time, if I can't fall back to sleep within fifteen minutes, I assume God wants to speak to me, and I get out of bed and go to my office downstairs. I get out a pen, legal pad, Bible, and I spend the remaining hours of the night with Him. Sometimes when I sit and pray, I hear very little. Other times He speaks to me so fast through ideas that I can hardly get them written down fast enough.

Being awakened in the wee hours of the morning is not very convenient. And the setting isn't always the greatest. But some of the best things I've experienced in life and the greatest ideas I've ever had come out of those spontaneous times alone with God in the middle of the night.

Be Specific

The second attitude to adopt toward prayer is the desire to be direct and specific with God. Jesus warns us in Matthew 6:7, "And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words." It's not the number of words you say or how eloquent you are that counts with God. As we speak, it is the sincerity of our words that matters with God. What is in our hearts gives our voices credibility...

The most effective forms of communication are brief and to the point. For example, just look at some of the great works from our history as a nation. The Gettysburg Address, for example, is only 297 words long, and it's considered one of the greatest speeches ever delivered in the English language. The Declaration of Independence, the document the newly born United States used to sever its ties with powerful Great Britain, is only 300 words. Contrast this with one government order setting the price of cabbage, which reportedly contained 26,911 words!

Besides being direct with God, we should also be as specific as we can. How many times have you prayed something like, "God bless America, bless our church, bless our missionaries..." or simply "God be with us"?

Specific prayer has power. Remember, Jesus says that you will be given whatever you ask Him for in His name (John 16:23-24). So take a look at some examples of how you can pray more effectively:

Instead of praying... Pray this...
God, save this country. Save my neighbor, Bobby, by bringing him to Christ. God, help me to do well in school. Help me study well and make an A on this test. God, bless my pastor. Anoint my pastor to preach salvation this Sunday. God, teach people to love each other. Help me to love my wife and make her feel loved. God, be with us. Teach me Your will in this area and help me obey You.

Being specific in prayer has another benefit. When God gives us an answer, we know it. [And this helps build experiencing answers to our prayers into our personal faith.] We can know it when our neighbor gets saved. We can see people come to Christ during the Sunday sermon. We can ask our spouses if our actions make them feel loved. And not only that--when we ask God to be involved in our lives in specific ways, it gives Him the chance to tell us how we need to change ourselves. The more specific we are in our requests, the more alert we will be to answers when they come--and the more specific we can be with our thanks and praises to God later on. [And this is so true!!!]

ASK the Right Way

Part of any good relationship is a sensitivity to the other person and their needs. In our relationship with God, it's obvious that He already knows our needs. As Jesus said in Matthew 6:8, "Your Father knows what you need before you ask him." But how well do we know what God wants for us? Ironically, we know ourselves less well than God does. Ford Philpot said, "Too many of us want what we don't need and need what we don't want."

We have to learn to put ourselves at the disposal of God's agenda. Too often we plug away at ours, blind to what God has for us. Many times God mercifully withholds His answers to our prayers until we come to Him with the right request. Ruth Graham, wife of evangelist Billy Graham, once said, "God has not always answered my prayers. If He had, I would have married the wrong man--several times."

God has many incredible, wonderful things for us, if only we ask for them. But if we don't ask for them, how can God give them to us (James 4:2)? Someone once said, "Heaven is filled with a room that will surprise all of us when we see it. It has within it large boxes, neatly packed with lovely ribbons and our name on top. They are things never delivered to earth because they were never requested."

How do we learn to ask right questions? Jesus said, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened" (Matthew 7:7-8).

I've found that the acronym "ASK" (ask, seek, and knock) helps to remind me how to make requests of God in a way that pleases Him. I believe it may help you too:

ASK: When we approach God and ask Him for something, it implies that we have a need that we want met. So if we want to ask Him the right questions, we should first examine our needs. If they are genuine and in accordance with God's will, then we can ask with pure motives, and that's crucial to having our prayers answered (James 4:3).

As you prepare to approach God to ask Him for something, answer the following questions. They will help you examine your needs and better direct your requests:

1. Is my request fair and helpful to everyone concerned?
2. Is my request in harmony with the Word of God?
3. Will it blend with my gifts?
4. Will it draw me closer to God?
5. What is my part in answering this prayer?

If you are able to examine yourself and your requests honestly, this frees God to work in you when your requests aren't pure and to answer them when they are.

SEEK: When people seek, as Jesus directs us to do, they are asking with effort. This implies that He expects us to do our part, even as we ask Him to do His. So when Jesus teaches us to pray, "Give us our daily bread," He doesn't mean that we are to sit back and expect God to rain down manna from heaven on us. After all, Scripture says that a person who will not work shall not eat (2 Thess. 3:10). What Jesus means is, "Give us the opportunity to earn our bread." God does not give added resources to those who are lazy.

Prayer without action is presumption. When we pray, we are to invest ourselves, just as Jesus taught us in the parable of the talents. As a result, there is a return on our investment, and God agrees to give us even more. As it says in Matthew 25:29, "Everyone who has will be given more, and he will have abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."

There is a saying that you've probably heard: "He who prays and prays, but acts not on what he knows, is like the man who plans and plans but never sows." I've found that to be true. God will not do what only He can do, until we do all that we can do. So when we pray, we need to be ready to do our part.

KNOCK: When Jesus directs us to knock, He's asking us to be persistent. The Amplified version of the Matthew 7:7-8 passage makes this very clear: "Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps on asking receives, and he who keeps on seeking finds, and to him who keeps on knocking, the door will be opened."

I was once visited by a lady in my congregation. She had been asking God to bring her unsaved brother to Christ for a couple of months, and she was getting impatient because he still hadn't made a commitment to follow Jesus.

"Pastor," she asked, "how long must I keep on praying?" "Until the answer comes," I answered.

That is what God wants from us. Whenever our prayers are unanswered, God wants us to continue praying until the answer comes or He changes our request. And that is what always happens. An answer comes or God changes our heart and prayer. For example, look at the case of Abraham and Sarah in the Old Testament. They prayed for a child, and God answered it. And in the case of Paul, do you remember how he prayed over and over for God to remove his "thorn in the flesh?" After Paul prayed the third time, God said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor. 12:9). It was then that Paul realized that the thorn was there for a reason, and he changed his prayer. He aligned his own will with that of God, and he learned to be content.

One of the most frustrating things for many people is having to wait for an answer from God. I know that because I have a choleric temperament. I evaluate situations very quickly and make decisions even faster, so I especially dislike waiting. But God doesn't ask us to be persistent to tease us or to withhold things from us. He does it because He wants us to grow in our relationship with Him. He wants us to be completely yielded to Him.

In the first few years I was a senior pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego, California, the church began to grow substantially. It quickly became obvious to me that it wouldn't be long before we would need a larger facility. And since enlarging on the current property wasn't an option, that meant we would need to relocate.

When I was a pastor in Indiana and we had a similar problem, I got together with my board, developed a strategy, and we were off. Within a couple of days we got someone to donate the land, another person to contribute materials, and we were ready to build. But it's a whole different ball game in southern California. Land is very expensive, and it isn't easy to find. So I got together with my board, we formed a relocation committee, and they began searching for some land.

After many months of searching, they found a parcel of land that looked perfect for us: thirty acres for $2 million--a pretty good price for San Diego (we could have bought half the county back in Indiana for that price). And we were happy with the location, too. But before we were able to make a decision about it, I took my prayer partners there on a Saturday to walk and pray over the land. It didn't take long in prayer before we had a unanimous sense that this was not the land God wanted for our church. So we let the opportunity to purchase it go by, and we continued to pray, knowing that there must be some reason why God said no.

A few months later, God opened the doors for another plot of land. It was eighty acres right on the freeway near a new subdivision with hundreds of young, unchurched families. We ended up purchasing that land for $1.8 million--less than we would have paid for the thirty-acre parcel. And on top of that, through a series of miracles, Skyline ended up with 120 acres of land instead of eighty for that price.

God honored our persistence and greatly blessed our obedience. And He will do the same for you. When you pray, don't give up. Maintain a positive attitude and continue to ask, seek, and knock.

1. Pray with All Your Heart 

Have you ever tried to maintain a conversation with a toddler? While you're in the middle of a sentence, they figure it's a good time to play with one of their toys, chase after the dog, or look for that piece of cheese they stuck between the cushions of the sofa the night before. It's really hard to keep their attention for more than a couple of minutes.

That's probably how God feels when He's trying to communicate with us. Many people pray for a minute here or there during their busy days, giving God their attention for only a moment. Praying throughout the day is good, but we also need to give Him our full attention. The problem is that even then we have a hard time focusing. It's the war of wandering thoughts. As we pray, we think about the grocery list; the dog or the kids distract us; or we realize the bedroom needs cleaning. It turns out we're as bad as toddlers when it comes to paying attention to God.

In all honesty, most people battle with this problem. Ours is a world of distractions, many of which try to divide our attention. But it's a battle we need to continue fighting. When we approach God, we must strive to give Him of our heart, not just a part of it. God doesn't answer the prayer of the double-minded person (James 1:8).

Part of the solution is to come to prayer with the right attitude with the desire to give Him all of our attention, just as Jesus suggests in Matthew 6:6. But there are also tools and techniques that can help us to keep focused:

PRAY ALOUD: Probably the simplest way to help you focus is to pray aloud. It actually makes it difficult for your mind to wander. Try it. You may at first feel a little self-conscious, but you'll soon get used to it.

WRITE DOWN THE DISTRACTIONS: For some people, the biggest distraction to prayer comes as they think about all the things they need to do that day. To solve that problem, as you pray, keep paper and a pen close by and write down each task as it comes to you and then forget about it until later. And if you still can't help thinking about it, then take it to God in prayer. Distractions are things you need either to take out of God's way or need to take directly to God.

KEEP A PRAYER JOURNAL: Journalizing is also a good tool because it keeps the mind focused on the task at hand. There are dozens of ways to use one to help you: You can write out prayers, outline them, or jot down key thoughts or Scripture verses. Use whatever works best for you.

The additional value of journaling is that it provides a record of your growing relationship with God, gives insight into your growth, clarifies your requests, provides a record of answered prayers, and indicates recurring issues in your life. As Douglas J. Rumford said in his recent book Soul Shaping, "As we learn to trust our insights, a creative power builds momentum: ideas begin to propel themselves into our consciousness. Frequently, the seeds of sermons or particular actions are planted when we break ground with a journal."

I once read a quote that describes well the condition of many Christians' prayer lives. Francois Fenelon said in his book, Christian Perfection, "Too many people pray like little boys who knock at doors, then run away." Being unable to give your whole heart to God is a serious obstacle to building a strong relationship with Him. Just as the moon cannot be reflected by a restless sea, God cannot be experienced by an unquiet mind. But having a regular time where you give God your full attention in prayer grows your relationship with Him in a powerful way. It's the difference between running after knocking on the door, and going in and getting to know God. The latter changes your life.

Pray Continually

When you've begun learning to pray with all your heart, prayer begins to overflow into more of your life. [This is so true!!!] In 1 Thessalonians 5:17, Paul tells believers to "pray continually." And by that he means that we should maintain an almost continuous conversation with God throughout the day--like breathing, constant and life giving. Once your relationship with God begins to deepen, that becomes easier to do.

Growing up, I learned about praying continually (or as we called it, praying without ceasing) from my father, who has always been a great role model. For him, praying was as natural as breathing or talking to my mom. He always seemed to be talking as he walked through the house--but he wasn't talking to himself. Sometimes when we were riding in the car, he'd just start a conversation with God. Dad taught me to praise Him when something good happened; ask Him questions when I was confused; cry to Him when I was hurt; and thank Him when I was blessed. And any time we had to make a decision, Dad's first words were always, "Let's just stop right now and pray about it." Dad and Mom taught me that the most effective and contented Christians made prayer a part of their lifestyles.

Developing a strong relationship with God through prayer is not something that happens overnight. But it can happen if a person approaches it with the right attitude and is willing to give it the time and energy it requires. Aristotle said, "Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit."

But what in this life--and for eternity--could be better than developing a relationship with a Father who loves us perfectly and who wants to know us and grow us into the people He created us to be? I can't think of anything that compares with that. And the way to make it happen is through prayer.

4

AVOIDING PERSONAL PRAYER KILLERS

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective
James 5:16

When my wife, Margaret, and I were first married, we owned an old Volkswagen Beetle. One cold morning not too long after we bought it, I went outside and got in the car to go to work and it wouldn't start. I turned the key and nothing happened. All I could hear was a faint clicking sound.

Now, I didn't have a clue about cars back then--and I still don't. But fortunately we had a friend who did. He turned the key one time, heard the clicking, and immediately started climbing into the backseat of the car.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "The engine's back here. Even I know that."

"I want to take a look at your battery," he said as he began yanking out the backseat. "In a Bug it's here, under the seat."

He pulled the seat out. And sure enough, there was the battery.

"Here's your problem," he said. "You see those cables? They connect the battery to the engine and its starter. But where the cables connect to the battery it's all corroded." I could see heavy white junk covering the places where he was pointing. "That corrosion is blocking the electricity. Your engine's not going to start as long as that stuff's blocking the power."

"Can you fix it?" I asked.

"Sure," he said. "We can get rid of this stuff--no problem."

I watched in amazement as he took a bottle of Coke and poured a little on the battery terminals. The corrosion bubbled away. Then he fooled around with the cables a little bit and said, "Try it now." The car started perfectly, as though nothing had been wrong with it.

Our relationship with God and our prayer life function in a way very similar to how my car did back then. As long as there isn't anything in the way blocking our "connection" to God, we have unlimited power. But when we allow junk to come between us and God, we're dead in the water. And no matter how hard or how often we "turn the key" in prayer, we have no power.

10 COMMON PRAYER KILLERS

The best way to keep from having spiritual junk hinder your prayer life is to avoid it. But when you haven't, the best thing to do is clean it up as soon as possible. I've found that there are ten very common blocks to effective prayer. I call them prayer killers because they take away all power from our prayers and hinder our relationship with God. If you find that one or more of these blocks apply to you, confess them to God and ask for His forgiveness to reestablish your connection with Him.

Prayer Killer # 1: Unconfessed Sin

Unconfessed sin is probably the most common prayer killer. Psalm 66:18 says, "If I regard wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear" (NASB). When the Scripture talks about regarding wickedness, it's referring to unconfessed sin. God is perfect and can't abide sin in us. If we knowingly tolerate sin in our lives, it pushes God away from us. As a result, it makes our prayers powerless.

The good news is that when we confess sin, God forgives it, and it's gone. The slate is clean and we are no longer held accountable. Jeremiah 31:34 says, "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sin no more." Not only are we forgiven, but God chooses to truly forget our sins of the past. At that point our relationship is restored, and our prayers regain their power. Our past actions may still have consequences, but the sin itself is forgiven.

If you have confessed and surrendered a sin to God and continue to sense accusation toward yourself for that sin, it is not God's voice you are hearing. It is Satan, the accuser, attacking you. Always remember, God's forgiveness is complete. First John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins." Don't let Satan accuse you when Christ has set you free.

Unforgiven sin also has other consequences. We could turn around the Scripture from Psalms to say, "If I regard wickedness in my heart, I will not hear God," and it would also be true. Sin dulls our senses and isolates us from God. Look at the case of Adam and Eve: When they sinned, they didn't want to walk with God; they hid from Him.

Besides making us want to run from God, sin also makes us want to isolate ourselves from other believers. In Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote:

Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from the community. The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of sin over him, and the more disastrous is this isolation. Sin wants to remain unknown. It shuns the light. In the darkness of the unexpressed it poisons the whole being of a person.

Sin pushes the person out of the community of believers, and being away from other Christians prevents us from receiving the benefit of accountability. It's a vicious cycle. As the saying goes, prayer prevents us from sin, and sin prevents us from prayer. If you're harboring sin in your life, confess it now and receive God's forgiveness. Clear away what's preventing you from connecting with God.

Prayer Killer #2: Lack of Faith

Lack of faith has an incredibly negative impact on a Christian's life. Without faith, prayer has no power. Even Jesus was powerless to perform any miracles in Nazareth because of the people's lack of faith (Mark 6:1-6).

Jesus' brother James gives some insight into the effect that faithlessness has on prayer. James 1:5-8 says:

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

What incredible insight this is into the mind of the unfaithful person. The word double-minded speaks of a condition where a person is emotionally divided, almost as if he had two souls. That condition makes a person unstable and incapable of hearing from God or receiving His gifts.

Faith is really an issue of trust. Jesus said, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer" (Matt. 21:22). People are often reluctant to put their trust in God. Yet every day they trust people without question, displaying a faith that God would love to receive from them...[Be sure to turn to the link on "George Muller: Man of Faith and Miracles" to learn what real believing faith is all about in this section "What Is Prayer?"]

Prayer Killer #3: Disobedience

I remember one afternoon when I was seventeen lying on my bed at home studying my Bible. About a month before, I had rededicated my life to Christ and accepted the call to preach. This day I was working on memorizing 1 John and came across this verse: "Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him" (1 John 3:21-23)...I realized that we receive from God because we obey Him. That's a condition that we must meet in order to approach Him in prayer.

If we are to grow in our relationship with God and become strong people of prayer, we must learn to obey. Keeping free from sin is not enough. Neither is faith. If our mouths says that we believe, but our actions don't back up that belief with a strong display of obedience, it shows the weakness of our belief. Obedience should be a natural outgrowth of faith in God. He that obeys God, trusts Him; he that trusts Him, obeys Him. [read James 2:1-14.]

Norman Vincent Peale told a story from his boyhood that gives insight into the way disobedience hinders our prayers. As a boy, he once got ahold of a big black cigar. He headed into a back alley where he figured no one would see him, and he lit it.

As he smoked it, he discovered that it didn't taste good, but it sure made him feel grown up. As he puffed away, he noticed that a man was walking down the alley in his direction. As the man got closer, Norman realized--to his horror--that it was his father. It was too late to try to throw away the cigar, so he put it behind his back and tried to act as casual as possible.

They greeted each other, and to young Norman's dismay, his father began to chat with him. Desperate to divert his father's attention, the boy spotted a nearby billboard advertising the circus.

"Can I go to the circus, Dad?" he pleaded. "Can I go when it comes to town? Please, Dad?"

"Son," his father answered quietly but firmly, "never make a petition while at the same time trying to hide smoldering disobedience behind your back."

Peale never forgot his father's response. And it taught him a valuable lesson about God. He cannot ignore our disobedience even when we try to distract Him. Only our obedience restores our relationship with Him and gives our prayers power.

Prayer Killer #4: Lack of Transparency with God and with Others

On June 1994, I had the privilege of speaking to 65,000 men at Promise Keepers in Indianapolis, Indiana. I spoke on the value of moral integrity, valuing our wives, and keeping ourselves sexually pure. During the weeks leading up to the event, I never in my life felt so much sexual temptation and pressure. I told my wife, Margaret, "Don't let me out of your sight for the next few weeks." I knew I was under serious attack.

I also made a decision at that time to share my struggles with my prayer partners. It wasn't easy, but I reasoned that if I was honest with them, they would be able to pray more effectively for me. My transparency made it possible for them to pray for me very specifically, and I was able to stand against temptation. I believe it was their prayers that helped me endure this incredibly difficult time and remain faithful to God.

James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed" (NASB). James is sharing a truth about God: When we confess our sins to one another, which requires us to be absolutely transparent, God is able to heal and cleanse us. We experience a spiritual, physical, and emotional restoration. In addition, our transparency helps others, because it shows them that they are not alone in their difficulties.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer has written about the importance of sharing openly with other Christians. In Life Together, he says:

In confession the light of the Gospel breaks into the darkness and seclusion of the heart. The sin must be brought into the light. The unexpressed must be openly spoken and acknowledged. All that is secret and hidden is made manifest. It is a hard struggle until the sin is openly admitted. But God breaks the gates of brass and bars of iron. Our brother breaks the circle of self-deception. A man who confesses his sin in the presence of a brother knows that he is no longer alone with himself. He experiences the presence of God in the reality of the other person.

The most difficult part in being honest is confessing. Ego becomes a stumbling block, as does fear of hurting our image. It's something that our entire society struggles with. Everyone wants to blame others for their shortcomings and problems...

Transparency is a difficult thing for a lot of people. Many pastors I know have an especially hard time with it. But openness with others can have a profound effect on you. Transparency with God when you pray puts you on His agenda instead of your own. And it also releases other believers to pray for you strategically and specifically.

Prayer Killer #5: Unforgiveness

You may remember the Scripture passage in which Peter asked Jesus about forgiveness. He asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" (Matt. 18:21). Hebrew law required a person to forgive a person three times for an offense. Peter, by suggesting seven, thought he was being very lenient and forgiving. He was probably shocked when he heard Jesus' answer: "Not seven times, but seventy-seven times" (Matt. 18:22).

Jesus was trying to teach Peter that forgiveness is not a matter of mathematics. Nor is it a choice of words. It is an attitude of the heart, and it is the Holy Spirit who empowers us to forgive. [i.e. Good yardstick whether God's Holy Spirit resides within you, can you forgive someone who has really hurt you? Can your reconcile with that person?] Why is forgiveness so important? The answer is found in Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Forgiving and being forgiven are inseparable twins. When a person refuses to forgive another, he is hurting himself, because his lack of forgiveness can take hold of him and make him bitter. And a person cannot enter prayer with bitterness and come out with blessings. Forgiveness allows your heart to be made not only right, but light.

Prayer Killer #6: Wrong Motives

...God makes no mistakes about our motives. When they're not right, our prayers have no power. James 4:3 says, "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives."

Sometimes even knowing our own motives can be difficult. In my experience, I've observed two things that quickly expose wrong motives:

1. A PROJECT GREATER THAN OURSELVES: Big projects--ones that put us in way over our heads--force us to examine why we are doing them. And that process exposes our motives...
2. Prayer: When we pray, God speaks to us and shows us our motives. If we are acting out of pride, fear, possessiveness, self-satisfaction, convenience, etc., God will show it to us, if only we are willing to listen. And if we are willing, He will change those motives.

Because I always want to try to keep my motives pure, I ask Bill Klassen, my personal prayer partner, to keep me accountable. One of the questions he always asked me when I was still the senior pastor at Skyline was, "Are you abusing the power you have in the church?" That kept me honest. And knowing I'd have to face Bill each month and answer that question helped me to check my motives continually so that they would be pure and in line with God's desires for me.

Prayer Killer #7: Idols in our Lives

When most people think of idols, they think of statues that are worshipped as gods. But an idol can be anything in our life that comes between us and God. Idols come in many forms: money, career, children, pleasure. Once again, it's an issue of the heart.

Ezekiel 14:3 clearly shows the negative effect of anything that comes between a person and God. It says, "Son of man, these men have set up idols in their hearts and put wicked stumbling blocks before their faces. Should I let them inquire of me at all?" The distaste that God has for idols should be clear from this passage. He doesn't even want an idol worshipper to talk to Him. On the other hand, when we remove idols from our lives, we become ripe for a personal revival.

Take a look at your own life. Is there anything that you're putting ahead of God? Sometimes it's hard to tell. One of the ways to know that something in your life is an idol is to ask yourself, "Would I be willing to give this thing up if God asked me to?" Look honestly at your attitude toward your career, possessions, and family. If there are things you wouldn't release to God, then they're blocking your access to Him.

Prayer Killer #8: Disregard for Others

Psalm 33:13 says, "From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind." God's perspective is expansive. He loves everyone, and His desire is that we care for others in the same way. When we disregard others, it grieves Him.

Scripture is full of verses supporting God's desire for unity among believers--between Christians brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, laypeople and pastors. For example, in John 13:34, Jesus said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." First Peter 3:7 exhorts husbands and wives to be considerate to one another. Otherwise, it says, their prayers will be hindered. And 1 Peter 2:13 says, "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men."

One of the added benefits of prayer is that it helps you learn to love others. It's impossible for a person to hate or criticize someone they're praying for. Prayer breeds compassion, not competition. For example, Bill Klassen often tells people about how he was as a young Christian. He said that after church on most Sundays he'd have "roast pastor" for lunch. He criticized his pastor pretty severely. But as he grew in his prayer life, God began to break his heart for pastors. His spirit of criticism melted into a spirit of compassion. And it ultimately directed him to start his own "Prayer Partner" ministry, devoted to motivating layman to pray for their pastors. That was quite a turnaround.

Prayer Killer #9: Disregard for God's Sovereignty

I believe very strongly in the sovereignty of God. I think that's one of the things that has helped me remain positive during difficult times over the years. I know that God knows me completely and knows what's best for me. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."

When Jesus showed the disciples how to pray, the first thing He did was teach them to honor God for who He is, "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" (Matt. 6:9-10). That is a clear acknowledgment that God is in charge, that He is sovereign. And it establishes our relationship to Him: that of a child under the authority of his Father. Any time we disregard the divine order of things, we're out-of-bounds, and we hinder our relationship with our heavenly Father.

Prayer Killer #10: Unsurrendered Will

There once was a Scottish woman who earned a modest living by peddling her wares along the roads of her country. Each day she would travel about, and when she came to an intersection, she would toss a stick into the air. Whichever way the stick pointed was the way she went. On one occasion an old man stood across the road from her as she tossed the stick into the air once, twice, three times. Finally the old man asked, "Why are you throwing that stick like that?"

"I'm letting God show me which way to go by using this stick," she said.

"Then why did you throw it three times?" the old man asked.

"Because the first two times, He was pointing me in the wrong direction," was her reply.

The ultimate purpose of prayer is not to get what we want, but to learn to want what God gives. But that will never happen if we don't surrender our will and put ourselves on God's agenda instead of our own.

A person whose will is surrendered to God has a relationship with Him similar to the one described in the parable of the vine and the branches. It says, "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you" (John 15:7). The branch depends on the vine and lives in one accord with it. In return, the vine provides it with everything it needs, and the result is great fruitfulness.

There are great benefits to surrendering your will to God. One is that God promises to answer your prayers and grant your requests. Another is that we get to receive the power of Christ through the Holy Spirit. Just as with the vine and the branches, He flows through us, gives us power, and produces fruit.

Developing an effective prayer life depends on keeping your relationship with God strong and uncluttered by sin and disobedience. 1 Peter 3:12 says, "The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." If we strive for righteousness and confess our errors, we can remain close to God. But maintaining our relationship with Him is an ongoing process. A Christian can't simply pray once through a list like these ten prayer killers and expect to be done with it. Every day we need to go to God and ask Him to reveal anything that may be hindering our progress.

Look at Psalm 139:23-24. It contains the words of David, a man after God's own heart, who had one of the best relationships with God in all the Bible:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Test me and know my anxious thoughts, See if there is any offensive way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.

David overcame some horrible sins in his life to be close to God. He was a murderer and adulterer, yet he humbled himself before God and confessed his sins. And that allowed him to come closer to God and keep growing and building in his relationship with Him.

David is a great model for us to follow. If God was able to forgive him and build a special relationship with him, then He can do the same with us. If we are faithful, God will draw us close to Him. And He will answer our prayers.

[That is the end of these excerpts. These excerpts were taken from pages 1-28, and 51-63 of "PARTNERS IN PRAYER" by John C. Maxwell. These have been given as an appetizer. For the main course, which I guarantee will make the prayer life of both you and your congregation healthy, but sure to buy PARTNERS IN PRAYER online at http://www.christianbooks.com , then click on "authors list" and then on "John Maxwell" and then on "Partners In Prayer."

Partners in Prayer, the first book in the John Maxwell Church Resources series, shows church leaders and laypeople how to unleash the potential of prayer on behalf of themselves, one another, and the church. If your church--or private devotional life--is starving in the area of prayer and you want to tap into the power and protection prayer provides, Maxwell gives practical insight into

• the fundamentals of prayer
• improving personal prayer life
• praying for others, including church leaders
• building a prayer partners ministry in the local church
• encouraging prayer revival nationwide

Are you missing out on God's gift and blessing of prayer? Is there someone you know who would benefit from your committed prayers on their behalf? Despite God's promise of the power of prayer to change our world, many of us never experience it. John Maxwell shows you how to strengthen your prayer life and reap the benefits awaiting those who become Partners in Prayer.

Christian Living/Pastoral Helps
ISBN 0-7852-7439-1
THOMAS NELSON PUBLISHERS
Nashville
$10.99 U.S.

[Just for a tiny peak into what the rest of this book is about--learning how to pray for your pastor--here are excerpts from the next short chapter]

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