| Prayer Partners continued...
Pray with All Your Heart
Have you ever tried to maintain a conversation
with a toddler? While you're in the middle of a sentence,
they figure it's a good time to play with one of their
toys, chase after the dog, or look for that piece of
cheese they stuck between the cushions of the sofa the
night before. It's really hard to keep their attention
for more than a couple of minutes.
That's probably how God feels when He's trying to communicate
with us. Many people pray for a minute here or there
during their busy days, giving God their attention for
only a moment. Praying throughout the day is good,
but we also need to give Him our full attention. The
problem is that even then we have a hard time focusing.
It's the war of wandering thoughts. As we pray,
we think about the grocery list; the dog or the kids
distract us; or we realize the bedroom needs cleaning.
It turns out we're as bad as toddlers when it comes
to paying attention to God.
In all honesty, most people battle with this problem.
Ours is a world of distractions, many of which try to
divide our attention. But it's a battle we need to continue
fighting. When we approach God, we must strive to
give Him of our heart, not just a part of it. God doesn't
answer the prayer of the double-minded person (James
1:8).
Part of the solution is to come to prayer with the right
attitude with the desire to give Him all of our attention,
just as Jesus suggests in Matthew 6:6. But there are
also tools and techniques that can help us to keep focused:
PRAY ALOUD: Probably the simplest way to help
you focus is to pray aloud. It actually makes it difficult
for your mind to wander. Try it. You may at first feel
a little self-conscious, but you'll soon get used to
it.
WRITE DOWN THE DISTRACTIONS: For some people,
the biggest distraction to prayer comes as they think
about all the things they need to do that day. To solve
that problem, as you pray, keep paper and a pen close
by and write down each task as it comes to you and then
forget about it until later. And if you still can't
help thinking about it, then take it to God in prayer.
Distractions are things you need either to take out
of God's way or need to take directly to God.
KEEP A PRAYER JOURNAL: Journalizing is also a
good tool because it keeps the mind focused on the task
at hand. There are dozens of ways to use one to help
you: You can write out prayers, outline them, or jot
down key thoughts or Scripture verses. Use whatever
works best for you.
The additional value of journaling is that it provides
a record of your growing relationship with God, gives
insight into your growth, clarifies your requests, provides
a record of answered prayers, and indicates recurring
issues in your life. As Douglas J. Rumford said in his
recent book Soul Shaping, "As we learn to
trust our insights, a creative power builds momentum:
ideas begin to propel themselves into our consciousness.
Frequently, the seeds of sermons or particular actions
are planted when we break ground with a journal."
I once read a quote that describes well the condition
of many Christians' prayer lives. Francois Fenelon said
in his book, Christian Perfection, "Too many
people pray like little boys who knock at doors, then
run away." Being unable to give your whole heart to
God is a serious obstacle to building a strong relationship
with Him. Just as the moon cannot be reflected by a
restless sea, God cannot be experienced by an unquiet
mind. But having a regular time where you give God your
full attention in prayer grows your relationship with
Him in a powerful way. It's the difference between running
after knocking on the door, and going in and getting
to know God. The latter changes your life.
Pray Continually
When you've begun learning to pray with all your
heart, prayer begins to overflow into more of your life.
[This is so true!!!] In 1 Thessalonians 5:17, Paul
tells believers to "pray continually." And by that he
means that we should maintain an almost continuous conversation
with God throughout the day--like breathing, constant
and life giving. Once your relationship with God begins
to deepen, that becomes easier to do.
Growing up, I learned about praying continually (or
as we called it, praying without ceasing) from my father,
who has always been a great role model. For him, praying
was as natural as breathing or talking to my mom. He
always seemed to be talking as he walked through the
house--but he wasn't talking to himself. Sometimes
when we were riding in the car, he'd just start a conversation
with God. Dad taught me to praise Him when something
good happened; ask Him questions when I was confused;
cry to Him when I was hurt; and thank Him when I was
blessed. And any time we had to make a decision, Dad's
first words were always, "Let's just stop right now
and pray about it." Dad and Mom taught me that the
most effective and contented Christians made prayer
a part of their lifestyles.
Developing a strong relationship with God through prayer
is not something that happens overnight. But it can
happen if a person approaches it with the right attitude
and is willing to give it the time and energy it requires.
Aristotle said, "Wishing to be friends is quick work,
but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit."
But what in this life--and for eternity--could be better
than developing a relationship with a Father who loves
us perfectly and who wants to know us and grow us into
the people He created us to be? I can't think of anything
that compares with that. And the way to make it happen
is through prayer.
4
AVOIDING PERSONAL PRAYER KILLERS
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful
and effective
James 5:16
When my wife, Margaret, and I were first
married, we owned an old Volkswagen Beetle. One cold
morning not too long after we bought it, I went outside
and got in the car to go to work and it wouldn't start.
I turned the key and nothing happened. All I could hear
was a faint clicking sound.
Now, I didn't have a clue about cars back then--and
I still don't. But fortunately we had a friend who did.
He turned the key one time, heard the clicking, and
immediately started climbing into the backseat of the
car.
"What are you doing?" I asked. "The engine's back here.
Even I know that."
"I want to take a look at your battery," he said as
he began yanking out the backseat. "In a Bug it's here,
under the seat."
He pulled the seat out. And sure enough, there was the
battery.
"Here's your problem," he said. "You see those cables?
They connect the battery to the engine and its starter.
But where the cables connect to the battery it's all
corroded." I could see heavy white junk covering the
places where he was pointing. "That corrosion is blocking
the electricity. Your engine's not going to start as
long as that stuff's blocking the power."
"Can you fix it?" I asked.
"Sure," he said. "We can get rid of this stuff--no problem."
I watched in amazement as he took a bottle of Coke and
poured a little on the battery terminals. The corrosion
bubbled away. Then he fooled around with the cables
a little bit and said, "Try it now." The car started
perfectly, as though nothing had been wrong with it.
Our relationship with God and our prayer life function
in a way very similar to how my car did back then. As
long as there isn't anything in the way blocking our
"connection" to God, we have unlimited power. But when
we allow junk to come between us and God, we're dead
in the water. And no matter how hard or how often we
"turn the key" in prayer, we have no power.
10 COMMON PRAYER KILLERS
The best way to keep from having spiritual
junk hinder your prayer life is to avoid it. But when
you haven't, the best thing to do is clean it up as
soon as possible. I've found that there are ten very
common blocks to effective prayer. I call them prayer
killers because they take away all power from our prayers
and hinder our relationship with God. If you find that
one or more of these blocks apply to you, confess them
to God and ask for His forgiveness to reestablish your
connection with Him.
Prayer Killer # 1: Unconfessed Sin
Unconfessed sin is probably the most common prayer killer.
Psalm 66:18 says, "If I regard wickedness in my heart,
the Lord will not hear" (NASB). When the Scripture talks
about regarding wickedness, it's referring to unconfessed
sin. God is perfect and can't abide sin in us. If we
knowingly tolerate sin in our lives, it pushes God away
from us. As a result, it makes our prayers powerless.
The good news is that when we confess sin, God forgives
it, and it's gone. The slate is clean and we are no
longer held accountable. Jeremiah 31:34 says, "For I
will forgive their wickedness and will remember their
sin no more." Not only are we forgiven, but God chooses
to truly forget our sins of the past. At that point
our relationship is restored, and our prayers regain
their power. Our past actions may still have consequences,
but the sin itself is forgiven.
If you have confessed and surrendered a sin to God and
continue to sense accusation toward yourself for that
sin, it is not God's voice you are hearing. It is Satan,
the accuser, attacking you. Always remember, God's forgiveness
is complete. First John 1:9 says, "If we confess our
sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our
sins." Don't let Satan accuse you when Christ has set
you free.
Unforgiven sin also has other consequences. We could
turn around the Scripture from Psalms to say, "If I
regard wickedness in my heart, I will not hear God,"
and it would also be true. Sin dulls our senses and
isolates us from God. Look at the case of Adam and Eve:
When they sinned, they didn't want to walk with God;
they hid from Him.
Besides making us want to run from God, sin also makes
us want to isolate ourselves from other believers. In
Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote:
Sin demands to have a man by himself.
It withdraws him from the community. The more isolated
a person is, the more destructive will be the power
of sin over him, and the more disastrous is this
isolation. Sin wants to remain unknown. It shuns
the light. In the darkness of the unexpressed it
poisons the whole being of a person.
Sin pushes the person out of the community
of believers, and being away from other Christians prevents
us from receiving the benefit of accountability. It's
a vicious cycle. As the saying goes, prayer prevents
us from sin, and sin prevents us from prayer. If you're
harboring sin in your life, confess it now and receive
God's forgiveness. Clear away what's preventing you
from connecting with God.
Prayer Killer #2: Lack of Faith
Lack of faith has an incredibly negative impact on a
Christian's life. Without faith, prayer has no power.
Even Jesus was powerless to perform any miracles in
Nazareth because of the people's lack of faith (Mark
6:1-6).
Jesus' brother James gives some insight into the effect
that faithlessness has on prayer. James 1:5-8 says:
If any of you lacks wisdom, he
should ask God, who gives generously to all without
finding fault, and it will be given him. But when
he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because
he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and
tossed by the wind. That man should not think he
will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded
man, unstable in all he does.
What incredible insight this is into the
mind of the unfaithful person. The word double-minded
speaks of a condition where a person is emotionally
divided, almost as if he had two souls. That condition
makes a person unstable and incapable of hearing from
God or receiving His gifts.
Faith is really an issue of trust. Jesus said, "If you
believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer"
(Matt. 21:22). People are often reluctant to put their
trust in God. Yet every day they trust people without
question, displaying a faith that God would love to
receive from them...[Be sure to turn to the link on
"George Muller: Man of Faith and Miracles" to learn
what real believing faith is all about in this section
"What Is Prayer?"]
Prayer Killer #3: Disobedience
I remember one afternoon when I was seventeen lying
on my bed at home studying my Bible. About a month before,
I had rededicated my life to Christ and accepted the
call to preach. This day I was working on memorizing
1 John and came across this verse: "Dear friends, if
our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before
God and receive from him anything we ask, because we
obey his commands and do what pleases him" (1 John 3:21-23)...I
realized that we receive from God because we
obey Him. That's a condition that we must meet in order
to approach Him in prayer.
If we are to grow in our relationship with God and become
strong people of prayer, we must learn to obey. Keeping
free from sin is not enough. Neither is faith. If our
mouths says that we believe, but our actions don't back
up that belief with a strong display of obedience, it
shows the weakness of our belief. Obedience should be
a natural outgrowth of faith in God. He that obeys God,
trusts Him; he that trusts Him, obeys Him. [read James
2:1-14.]
Norman Vincent Peale told a story from his boyhood that
gives insight into the way disobedience hinders our
prayers. As a boy, he once got ahold of a big black
cigar. He headed into a back alley where he figured
no one would see him, and he lit it.
As he smoked it, he discovered that it didn't taste
good, but it sure made him feel grown up. As he puffed
away, he noticed that a man was walking down the alley
in his direction. As the man got closer, Norman realized--to
his horror--that it was his father. It was too late
to try to throw away the cigar, so he put it behind
his back and tried to act as casual as possible.
They greeted each other, and to young Norman's dismay,
his father began to chat with him. Desperate to divert
his father's attention, the boy spotted a nearby billboard
advertising the circus.
"Can I go to the circus, Dad?" he pleaded. "Can I go
when it comes to town? Please, Dad?"
"Son," his father answered quietly but firmly, "never
make a petition while at the same time trying to hide
smoldering disobedience behind your back."
Peale never forgot his father's response. And it taught
him a valuable lesson about God. He cannot ignore our
disobedience even when we try to distract Him. Only
our obedience restores our relationship with Him and
gives our prayers power.
Prayer Killer #4: Lack of Transparency with
God and with Others
On June 1994, I had the privilege of speaking to 65,000
men at Promise Keepers in Indianapolis, Indiana. I spoke
on the value of moral integrity, valuing our wives,
and keeping ourselves sexually pure. During the weeks
leading up to the event, I never in my life felt so
much sexual temptation and pressure. I told my wife,
Margaret, "Don't let me out of your sight for the next
few weeks." I knew I was under serious attack.
I also made a decision at that time to share my struggles
with my prayer partners. It wasn't easy, but I reasoned
that if I was honest with them, they would be able to
pray more effectively for me. My transparency made it
possible for them to pray for me very specifically,
and I was able to stand against temptation. I believe
it was their prayers that helped me endure this incredibly
difficult time and remain faithful to God.
James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one
another, and pray for one another, so that you may be
healed" (NASB). James is sharing a truth about God:
When we confess our sins to one another, which requires
us to be absolutely transparent, God is able to heal
and cleanse us. We experience a spiritual, physical,
and emotional restoration. In addition, our transparency
helps others, because it shows them that they are not
alone in their difficulties.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer has written about the importance
of sharing openly with other Christians. In Life
Together, he says:
In confession the light of the Gospel
breaks into the darkness and seclusion of the heart.
The sin must be brought into the light. The unexpressed
must be openly spoken and acknowledged. All that
is secret and hidden is made manifest. It is a hard
struggle until the sin is openly admitted. But God
breaks the gates of brass and bars of iron. Our
brother breaks the circle of self-deception. A man
who confesses his sin in the presence of a brother
knows that he is no longer alone with himself. He
experiences the presence of God in the reality of
the other person.
The most difficult part in being honest is
confessing. Ego becomes a stumbling block, as does fear
of hurting our image. It's something that our entire
society struggles with. Everyone wants to blame others
for their shortcomings and problems...
Transparency is a difficult thing for a lot of people.
Many pastors I know have an especially hard time with
it. But openness with others can have a profound effect
on you. Transparency with God when you pray puts you
on His agenda instead of your own. And it also releases
other believers to pray for you strategically and specifically.
Prayer Killer #5: Unforgiveness
You may remember the Scripture passage in which Peter
asked Jesus about forgiveness. He asked, "Lord, how
many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against
me? Up to seven times?" (Matt. 18:21). Hebrew law required
a person to forgive a person three times for an offense.
Peter, by suggesting seven, thought he was being very
lenient and forgiving. He was probably shocked when
he heard Jesus' answer: "Not seven times, but seventy-seven
times" (Matt. 18:22).
Jesus was trying to teach Peter that forgiveness is
not a matter of mathematics. Nor is it a choice of words.
It is an attitude of the heart, and it is the Holy
Spirit who empowers us to forgive. [i.e. Good yardstick
whether God's Holy Spirit resides within you, can you
forgive someone who has really hurt you? Can your reconcile
with that person?] Why is forgiveness so important?
The answer is found in Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you
forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly
Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive
men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Forgiving and being forgiven are inseparable twins.
When a person refuses to forgive another, he is hurting
himself, because his lack of forgiveness can take hold
of him and make him bitter. And a person cannot enter
prayer with bitterness and come out with blessings.
Forgiveness allows your heart to be made not only right,
but light.
Prayer Killer #6: Wrong Motives
...God makes no mistakes about our motives. When they're
not right, our prayers have no power. James 4:3 says,
"When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with
wrong motives."
Sometimes even knowing our own motives can be difficult.
In my experience, I've observed two things that quickly
expose wrong motives:
- A PROJECT GREATER THAN OURSELVES: Big projects--ones
that put us in way over our heads--force us to examine
why we are doing them. And that process exposes our
motives...
- Prayer: When we pray, God speaks to us and
shows us our motives. If we are acting out of pride,
fear, possessiveness, self-satisfaction, convenience,
etc., God will show it to us, if only we are willing
to listen. And if we are willing, He will change those
motives.
Because I always want to try to keep my
motives pure, I ask Bill Klassen, my personal prayer
partner, to keep me accountable. One of the questions
he always asked me when I was still the senior pastor
at Skyline was, "Are you abusing the power you have
in the church?" That kept me honest. And knowing I'd
have to face Bill each month and answer that question
helped me to check my motives continually so that they
would be pure and in line with God's desires for me.
Prayer Killer #7: Idols in our Lives
When most people think of idols, they think of statues
that are worshipped as gods. But an idol can be anything
in our life that comes between us and God. Idols come
in many forms: money, career, children, pleasure. Once
again, it's an issue of the heart.
Ezekiel 14:3 clearly shows the negative effect of anything
that comes between a person and God. It says, "Son of
man, these men have set up idols in their hearts and
put wicked stumbling blocks before their faces. Should
I let them inquire of me at all?" The distaste that
God has for idols should be clear from this passage.
He doesn't even want an idol worshipper to talk to Him.
On the other hand, when we remove idols from our lives,
we become ripe for a personal revival.
Take a look at your own life. Is there anything that
you're putting ahead of God? Sometimes it's hard to
tell. One of the ways to know that something in your
life is an idol is to ask yourself, "Would I be willing
to give this thing up if God asked me to?" Look honestly
at your attitude toward your career, possessions, and
family. If there are things you wouldn't release to
God, then they're blocking your access to Him.
Prayer Killer #8: Disregard for Others
Psalm 33:13 says, "From heaven the Lord looks down and
sees all mankind." God's perspective is expansive. He
loves everyone, and His desire is that we care for others
in the same way. When we disregard others, it grieves
Him.
Scripture is full of verses supporting God's desire
for unity among believers--between Christians brothers
and sisters, husbands and wives, laypeople and pastors.
For example, in John 13:34, Jesus said, "A new command
I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so
you must love one another." First Peter 3:7 exhorts
husbands and wives to be considerate to one another.
Otherwise, it says, their prayers will be hindered.
And 1 Peter 2:13 says, "Submit yourselves for the Lord's
sake to every authority instituted among men."
One of the added benefits of prayer is that it helps
you learn to love others. It's impossible for a person
to hate or criticize someone they're praying for. Prayer
breeds compassion, not competition. For example, Bill
Klassen often tells people about how he was as a young
Christian. He said that after church on most Sundays
he'd have "roast pastor" for lunch. He criticized his
pastor pretty severely. But as he grew in his prayer
life, God began to break his heart for pastors. His
spirit of criticism melted into a spirit of compassion.
And it ultimately directed him to start his own "Prayer
Partner" ministry, devoted to motivating layman to pray
for their pastors. That was quite a turnaround.
Prayer Killer #9: Disregard for God's Sovereignty
I believe very strongly in the sovereignty of God. I
think that's one of the things that has helped me remain
positive during difficult times over the years. I know
that God knows me completely and knows what's best for
me. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb
I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."
When Jesus showed the disciples how to pray, the first
thing He did was teach them to honor God for who He
is, "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your
kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in
heaven" (Matt. 6:9-10). That is a clear acknowledgment
that God is in charge, that He is sovereign. And it
establishes our relationship to Him: that of a child
under the authority of his Father. Any time we disregard
the divine order of things, we're out-of-bounds, and
we hinder our relationship with our heavenly Father.
Prayer Killer #10: Unsurrendered Will
There once was a Scottish woman who earned a modest
living by peddling her wares along the roads of her
country. Each day she would travel about, and when she
came to an intersection, she would toss a stick into
the air. Whichever way the stick pointed was the way
she went. On one occasion an old man stood across the
road from her as she tossed the stick into the air once,
twice, three times. Finally the old man asked, "Why
are you throwing that stick like that?"
"I'm letting God show me which way to go by using this
stick," she said.
"Then why did you throw it three times?" the old man
asked.
"Because the first two times, He was pointing me in
the wrong direction," was her reply.
The ultimate purpose of prayer is not to get what
we want, but to learn to want what God gives. But
that will never happen if we don't surrender our will
and put ourselves on God's agenda instead of our own.
A person whose will is surrendered to God has a relationship
with Him similar to the one described in the parable
of the vine and the branches. It says, "If you remain
in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish,
and it will be given you" (John 15:7). The branch depends
on the vine and lives in one accord with it. In return,
the vine provides it with everything it needs, and the
result is great fruitfulness.
There are great benefits to surrendering your will to
God. One is that God promises to answer your prayers
and grant your requests. Another is that we get to receive
the power of Christ through the Holy Spirit. Just as
with the vine and the branches, He flows through us,
gives us power, and produces fruit.
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